Dear Annie: After reading your column about “Feeling Tired and Lonely,” I’d like to offer a suggestion for her to consider before pursuing couples counseling. Encourage her to research narcissistic behaviors, particularly covert narcissism. If she is in a relationship with someone displaying these traits and isn’t aware of the dynamics (as I wasn’t at first), she might feel stuck, endlessly spinning her wheels due to future faking, manipulation and emotional abuse.

It’s important to note that many psychologists and experts advise against couples counseling in these situations, as it can sometimes backfire on the empathetic partner, making the abuse worse. I’ve been through a similar experience, and I know how lonely, isolating and confusing it can feel.

There wasn’t enough detail in her story to say for certain, but these types of relationships often go unnoticed and can last for years. Many people remain trapped, either because they don’t recognize the signs or are too afraid to leave. Sharing this information could empower her to understand her situation better and take steps to protect herself. — Been There and Broke Free

Dear Reader: Thank you for your letter. I hope it helps her and all people out there struggling in abusive relationships. I do think that a good counselor would be able to help and that they should stick with couples counseling.

Read more Dear Annie and other advice columns.

“How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” is out now! Annie Lane’s second anthology — featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit Creators Publishing for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to [email protected].