Dear Annie: “Eighty-One Years Wise,” who wrote in about feeling uncomfortable around poorly behaved children, was spot on, but I’ve also been known to pause by a table in a restaurant where a family of total strangers are enjoying a meal to compliment the children and parents on well-mannered children.

I tell the children how important it is to have nice manners, and I tell the parents what a joy it is to see a lovely family and that clearly they are good, caring parent(s).

Raising children is tough, now more than ever, so words of encouragement are so welcome. Plus it gives them reinforcement, proving to their children that people notice.

My husband died on active military service, so I was a single parent. I raised my boys to always treat people well, even annoying kids in school, as I told them, you might want a job from their dad or to marry their sister. You never know how a minute being an idiot can affect you in future.

I also told them, and their friends, never to do anything they wouldn’t want to see splashed on the front of a tabloid if they’re ever famous. Because someone will sell their story. In a day when kids are aware of fame, they understand the implications. — Raising Well-Mannered Children

Dear Well-Mannered: Thank you and your husband for his military service.

I am very sorry for your loss. You have wonderful values and seem to have instilled them in your children.

Read more Dear Annie and other advice columns.

“How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” is out now! Annie Lane’s second anthology — featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit Creators Publishing for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to [email protected].

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