Dear Annie: My life has fallen apart since I found out my wife lied about being with another man before me

Dear Annie: My life has fallen apart since I found out my wife lied about being with another man before me

Dear Annie: Please help me. I have been married to my wife for 23 years. We have had the best marriage anyone could ever imagine.

She got sick in 2020, so I took her to the hospital. Due to COVID-19, I was not allowed to stay with her. So, I dropped her off, and she was going to text me when she was done. When I got to the hospital to pick her up, I noticed that she was talking to another man. This was very strange to see her talking to him.

When we first got together, we talked for days about each other’s lives. She asked me about my ex-wife and why we divorced. I told her the truth about everything in my life. I asked her about why she did not have a relationship before me. She told me she just wasn’t interested in guys.

Back to the man she was talking to, it turned out he was an ex-boyfriend of hers. Of course, I was very upset and wanted to know everything about him. She then admitted that she had sex with him, after she had told me that I was the only guy she had ever been with.

This event occurred more than two years ago, and every day I can’t stop crying and thinking about them being together. I have gone from 170 pounds down to 120. I can’t sleep, and I can’t eat. All I do is sit around and cry. I need help. I have turned this over to God, but I’m still suffering so much. Can you give me any ideas on how I can move forward? I’m starting to fear for my life. I don’t want to end my life, but I can’t go on feeling this way.

I’m dying slowly, day by day. — Hurting

Dear Hurting: Please seek professional help immediately. The suffering and pain you are feeling right now is temporary and will pass, but you need a professional therapist to help you work through your pain. Your wife made a mistake by lying, but there is no evidence that she does not love you. All I see is that she is human and imperfect. I would also call the suicide prevention hotline number, 988. Best of luck.

Dear Readers: Wanted to wish you and your loved ones a very Happy Halloween. Below are some tips to keep you and your loved ones safe.

— Always accompany young children on their neighborhood rounds.

— Only go to homes with a porch light on and, ideally, a well-lit pathway.

— Never enter a home or car for a treat.

— Please keep all cats inside on Halloween.

View prior ‘Dear Annie’ columns

“How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” is out now! Annie Lane’s second anthology — featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit Creators Publishing for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to [email protected].

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