Dear Annie: My husband lost a father and son, and now Iâm losing him to another woman

Dear Annie: I’ve been married for 11 years and together with my husband for 20. Around two years ago, we began experiencing loss after loss, and our marriage seemed just OK. We lost his father and a son to suicide. It was more than we’d ever lost before.

I started to notice my husband wanted to stay all night at his brother-in-law’s more often. Around two weeks ago, I busted him texting a girl, “I want to see you.” He said it was a friend of theirs and that their relationship was never more than hanging out and drinking between 11 p.m. to 3 a.m. I called the girl and she insisted they are just friends as well.

A week ago, I realized while I was at the hospital with my dying dad that it was one of the evenings my husband stayed there at his brother-in-law’s and hung out with this woman. He swears it is never more than hanging out. In my head, I’m so back and forth and am not sure what to believe at this point. — Trying to Trust

Dear Trying: Even if your husband is just friends with this woman, as he claims, his priorities are far off from where they should be. His father-in-law is in the hospital dying and he’s out drinking at all hours with another woman? Completely inappropriate.

With how much loss you two have experienced, counseling is a must. Instead of shutting you out and turning to another woman in his grief, you and your husband should be looking to each other to commiserate and get through the hard times together, coming out even stronger than before.

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“How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” is out now! Annie Lane’s second anthology — featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit Creators Publishing for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to [email protected].