Dear Annie: My husband has has cut off contact with his mother

Dear Annie: I just read your response to “Lost Son,” about the mother whose 30-year-old son has stopped talking with his mother. While there is a possibility this son is in a toxic relationship, have you also considered that maybe the mother has inflicted trauma on her son that she doesn’t believe affected him or wants to fess up to?

I am married to a “Lost Son” who through the years has stopped contacting his mother due to the abuse she denies ever happened. When I met him, he said he was close to his mom but at the same time would pace back and forth and show signs that maybe something had happened between them. Over the years he expressed the absolute hurt he had from his childhood because of his mom. Anytime he has tried to talk with her about the awful things she did to him as a child, she would gaslight him and tell him it never happened.

Sometimes abusers don’t want to admit they hurt their child as much as they did, leading to the child, in their adult life, to cut the parent (or person) off as they process the hurt. I don’t know this situation or these people but just thought I’d put this into another context, as I’m sure my mother-in-law probably feels similar to me as this women feels about her son’s significant other. — Married to a Lost Son

Dear Married to a Lost Son: Thank you for your letter. I always love hearing from different perspectives.

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“How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” is out now! Annie Lane’s second anthology — featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit Creators Publishing for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to [email protected].