Dear Annie: My husband will be 60 on his next birthday, and despite having asthma, he’s in very good shape. Our daughter is 27 and doesn’t manage her finances or life very well. She recently asked my husband to help her move as he has done four times previously. He agreed, even though it was just the two of them moving everything.

The new apartment is up three flights of stairs and they moved her in on a 98-degree day. It took several hours, and he did not get home until after 10 p.m. I feel this was thoughtless and completely selfish of our daughter. She is frequently inconsiderate, and she made this request two days before the move.

My husband is a great dad, but I feel he needs to set some boundaries with our daughter. I voiced that I felt her request wasn’t reasonable. He made it clear that if she asks in the future, he will move her again. I’m concerned that she will continue to use him until he drops. We mostly hear from her only when she needs something. Am I out of line to ask her to hire someone to move her in future? — Used Up in Texas

Dear Used Up in Texas: You’re not out of line. Your daughter is closer to 30 than 20, which means at this point, she should be taking care of moving on her own, or hiring help if she needs it. But as long as your husband keeps saying yes, she never will.

Instead of confronting your daughter, talk to your husband again. Let him know that you’re worried about his well-being and that by picking up the pieces whenever your daughter needs it, he’s not really helping — he’s enabling. Now’s the time to give her a little tough love. If he insists on being involved in her future moves, encourage him to take care of himself first and set boundaries, meaning shorter moving days with limits on what he lifts and plenty of advance notice.

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“How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” is out now! Annie Lane’s second anthology — featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit Creators Publishing for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to [email protected].