Dear Annie: I was alone for a long time and then met someone at work. We became close and recently got engaged, but here is the problem: She lives with a man — they are not married — but they have two kids together.

She comes to my place after work, and we have dinner and are intimate. But then later she goes home, and she still sleeps in the same bed with her ex-boyfriend. She has told me that there is nothing going on there. She has slept over at my place at times. But sometimes I have a hard time dealing with the whole situation.

I have never even met her kids, and no one knows about me. I do love her very much, but there are times when I feel I should just walk away. It’s not easy. — Feeling Like Second Fiddle

Dear Second Fiddle: You sound like a wonderful and trusting person. If your relationship doesn’t feel right to you, then it’s time to have a very upfront conversation with your fiancee about her relationship with her ex-boyfriend. If you don’t want her sleeping over there, then she has to know that. If you want to meet her children, and you are presumably going to be their stepfather, then you should express that to her. If she says no, then you should seek the help of a trained professional and consider finding a different partner.

Read more Dear Annie and other advice columns.

“How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” is out now! Annie Lane’s second anthology — featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit Creators Publishing for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to [email protected].

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