Dear Annie: My ex’s father tried to keep my sons from me

Dear Annie: Sixteen years ago, I separated from my wife, as we were headed toward a divorce. Her father, “Bob,” just lost it; he was so angry over the divorce. He swore to me that he would do everything he could and spend his last dime to take my sons away from me. He did his best to ruin my career, to no avail. However, through paying for cruises (seven to date), much money spent and careful manipulation, he has been able to take my sons away from me.

My oldest son texted me five years ago to say his life was better off without me, and he has not spoken to me since. My younger son comes around when it’s his birthday or Christmas, but only to collect his gifts.

I have finally come to terms with something my current wife said. “People treat you exactly how they feel about you,” and, “No one is required to be in your life.” Even if they are your children or your brother or your sister or your parents.

We see so many movies and TV shows where family is number one, but in real society, that just doesn’t seem to be the norm.

To those who have suffered hurt by those who should love you, you deserve better. You are worth knowing and loving, just the way you are. There are plenty of people who would appreciate you for the person you are. Find them. Build relationships with them. One of the most wonderful people in my life was a lady who had no blood relationship to me, but I was honored to call her “Grandma” for well over 30 years. — Still Loving Life

Dear Still Loving Life: I’m glad that you were able to come to terms with the hurt from your past, but don’t stop trying to show your love for your sons. Maybe someday there will be a heartfelt reconciliation.

Read more Dear Annie and other advice columns.

“How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” is out now! Annie Lane’s second anthology — featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit Creators Publishing for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to [email protected].