Dear Annie: My ex-wife spent over 50% of my earnings without my knowledge

Dear Annie: My wife left me a little over a year ago. She handled all the finances and was a stay-at-home mom while I worked to earn money. After six months of counseling and her refusing to budge, it was evident the marriage was over.

Upon review of my finances, I discovered that over the last four years of our marriage, she spent 55% of my take-home earnings without my knowledge. For what, I don’t know. This amounted to $155,000.

She says it was spent on groceries, gas, gifts and other living expenses, while our family checking account shows those expenses were drawn from it. Another way to put it is this: Combining our family checking account and her spending without my knowledge, 90% of my earnings were spent before a single bill was paid. Is this plausible? Or does some malfeasance seem probable? — Baffled By Checking Account

Dear Baffled: Good riddance. Consider yourself fortunate to be rid of her. It does sound like she might have been taking money for a separate account or spending it on things you didn’t know about. I am sorry that you had to go through that, but now is the time for a new beginning. The best revenge is living well.

Take some time to heal from your divorce and try to focus on things that make you happy. You sound like a wonderful person, and I have no doubt that you will find someone who appreciates you and does not take advantage of your trust and kindness.

Read more Dear Annie and other advice columns.

“How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” is out now! Annie Lane’s second anthology — featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit Creators Publishing for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to [email protected].