Dear Annie: My deceased husbandâs family wasnât kind to me when he was alive, and still isnât

Dear Annie: I’m a 39-year-old mom of four. My husband recently passed away, in April of this year.

His family was never very kind to me when he was alive, and they haven’t changed now that he’s gone. I’ve been dealing with their judgment and hostility. They find any little thing they can to criticize me and gossip about me. And I’m just wondering how to stop them from talking about my life when they have no idea what they’re talking about. Please help! — Mrs. Fed Up

Dear Fed-Up: I am so sorry that your husband died and that your in-laws are making life harder for you. I’m going to pass along something that someone once shared with me: What other people think of you is none of your business. That’s not an admonishment. It’s a mantra. They’re entitled to their opinions, and you’re entitled to ignore them. The more you can accept that, the lighter you’ll feel.

Reach out to friends and family who shore you up rather than giving any weight to the opinions of people who would tear a grieving widow down.

Read more Dear Annie and other advice columns.

“How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” is out now! Annie Lane’s second anthology — featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit Creators Publishing for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to [email protected].