Dear Annie: My dad’s overzealous plans are stressing me out
Dear Annie: I’m a 36-year-old male. I moved away from home a year ago to be with my now ex-girlfriend. Things didn’t work out in the relationship, but I have a home here and love this small town. I took a job and work 76-plus hours weekly.
Now I have an opportunity to take a break and get away, so I decided to see my family back home.
But my father created a mess. He has a bunch of plans, as in driving a long way and only staying one night. I put a stop to that, explaining that I won’t have a ton of time on this trip. When I said that, he got mad and hung up on me. Now he is mad and telling my brother that I don’t have time for him, so he is done.
I’m thinking about canceling my trip altogether because this was a chance to get away from stress, but instead, it is adding more. — Lone Wolf
Dear Lone Wolf: Your dad no doubt has the best of intentions, but he is clueless about how you want to relax with family after working your tail off for the past year. From his perspective, he is so excited to see you that he wanted to plan a visit that’s jampacked with fun activities and excursions for you to enjoy together as father and son.
The key to less stress here is communication and managing expectations. Your time at home is finite, and there are certainly better ways to spend it than driving all over the place for just one activity or outing. Call your dad and plan out the timeline for your visit. Allow him to keep one or two of his bigger plans on the agenda and suggest spending the rest of the time closer to home. What matters most is getting to reconnect and be with one another, wherever that may be.
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“How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” is out now! Annie Lane’s second anthology — featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit Creators Publishing for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to [email protected].
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