Dear Annie: I’ve been dating a man who isn’t divorced yet, but his wife moved out in December 2023 and has since relocated to her own place in another town. He told me from the start that he wasn’t divorced but would be.

We started dating in September 2024, and things have been fantastic. We go out for dinner, dance twice a week, bike and hike together. We both own our homes, so we don’t live together, but he comes over for dinner, we eat and watch TV, and then he goes home.

The problem is, whenever his grown children need him or have time for him, he drops me. I haven’t met them because he wants to be divorced first, but I haven’t met his friends either. He’s even gone to dinner twice with a retired male co-worker without inviting me. I made sure it wasn’t another woman, and I know it wasn’t, but he never includes me.

We make plans, but if his kids want to do something, let’s say go hiking, for example, he will go with them and cancel on me without asking me to come along. Recently, we had a Friday night date planned for 7:30 p.m. He had been babysitting, got home late and then texted at 6:30 to cancel because he was too tired. I was already dressed and ready. I was so disappointed. I still had him come over for dinner and TV because it was too late to do anything else, all my friends were out, and I didn’t want to be alone.

I knew he wasn’t divorced, but it’s been 15 months since his wife left. I feel I’m good enough for him, but then I’m dismissed when his children want him.

Sometimes, my heart gets in the way of good judgment … When is it time for me? What should I do? — Who Am I to Him?

Dear Reader: You’ve been extremely understanding of this man’s circumstances, and while it’s fair for him to be cautious about involving his children in his dating life, that doesn’t mean you should settle for less than you deserve. Kids aside, following through on plans and introducing you to his friends would prove that he cares and you’re important to him.

It’s time for an honest conversation. Is there any real progress being made to finalize the divorce? Will he make you a priority before then? Does he intend for you to eventually have a relationship with his children? If you’re not satisfied with his answers, you need to ask yourself how much longer you’re willing to wait for him to meet you where you are. A serious partner will make this space for you, not just fit you in when they feel like it.

Read more Dear Annie and other advice columns.

“How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” is out now! Annie Lane’s second anthology — featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit Creators Publishing for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to [email protected].