Dear Annie: At 54, my mother, already blessed with two academically accomplished children in the 8th and 12th grades, yearns for a third child. I am nearly 18 years old and will soon leave for college. My father, 57, is adamant that he doesn’t want another baby. With retirement as a middle-school teacher within a decade’s grasp, the idea of raising another child weighs heavily on him, having managed students his whole life.

Nobody except my mother wants another child. To facilitate this wish without enduring another pregnancy, she’s exploring surrogacy, encouraged by medical professionals who believe her fertility levels can produce a new life.

I’m concerned about my mother’s demanding work schedule, as she works from 9 a.m. to 9 p.m., yet she still strongly desires to add another child to our family.

Would a 12-year-old want a father in his 70s? Am I selfish in questioning the allocation of resources, as my mother contemplates funding a new lifetime while lamenting her inability to pay full tuition for a private college? Is it OK for my mother to divide our family, countering everyone’s wishes but her own? — Parenting at 70

Dear Parenting at 70: Your mom would be parenting at 54 at first. A 12-year-old wants a loving father, and it doesn’t matter what age he is. If your mom really wants a child, that is up to her and your father. Try not to place your own judgement on her and focus instead on how exciting college will be for you.

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