Dear Annie: I am asking for advice about my 20-year friendship that has ended. My former best friend and I have been through ups and downs, including her two former marriages and health problems.

However, not long ago, I noticed that her texts had become fewer and fewer. When she met her current husband, she was spending most of her free time with him. After a few months, they moved in together and purchased a large vacation spot together. I asked if she thought she was moving too fast, but she ignored my question.

Months later, they get engaged and then married. I had only met him one time before they were married. He said very little to me at their small wedding.

Communication between my friend and me continued to be less and less frequent. I sent her a birthday flower arrangement and only heard back from her over a week later — after I had sent her a text. She explained that she was hurt and angry that the card arrived blank, in her former name, and that I didn’t spend time with her at her wedding.

I didn’t realize that the florist neglected to put my message or name on the arrangement. I apologized for it.

She hasn’t answered any of my texts or phone calls.

I can’t understand how she wouldn’t accept my apology, only had me meet her husband once before they got married and, most importantly, how she would throw away a friendship of over 20 years since she has gotten married again.

Could her husband be encouraging our breakup? Or had she decided to let our friendship end and she saw her new life as the way to do it? I have had a difficult time accepting the ending of the friendship and how she refused to even talk about it.

She was my best friend. I keep hoping that she will contact me and be willing to talk about everything. — Missing My Best Friend

Dear Missing: You are missing the way your friendship used to be before your best friend’s husband came along. But the truth is that change is really the only constant in life. It does sound like her husband is controlling her and maybe trying to shut you out. If that is the case, that is really sad for your friend and can lead to lots of isolation. The fact that she can’t be understanding that the florist forgot to write your name on the flower arrangement seems like a huge overreaction and that your friend is being unreasonable — which leads me to believe that she might not be very happy if she is sweating the small stuff.

Just continue to try to keep the dialogue open with her and don’t give up on 20 years of friendship.

Read more Dear Annie and other advice columns.

“How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” is out now! Annie Lane’s second anthology — featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit Creators Publishing for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to [email protected].

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