Dear Annie: Is it rude to order dessert if no one else at the table does?

Dear Annie: When my wife, stepson and I go out to dinner, they usually do not order dessert. I like to order dessert fairly often. My wife has told me in no uncertain terms, and more than once, that it is rude to order dessert when no one else is having it.

This admonishment, by the way, is being delivered by a spouse who cannot refrain from using her phone for nonemergencies during every (and I mean every) meal at a restaurant. Would you please weigh in over our dispute about dessert? — A Family Dilemma

Dear Family Dilemma: It sounds like you are each being difficult with the other. If you want to order dessert, then you should order dessert and enjoy it. If you are taking forever to eat the dessert, then yes, maybe it is a bit rude. Is it possible your wife and stepson are watching their weight and don’t want to contemplate dessert, much less be forced to sit and watch you eat yours?

Have a calm conversation with your wife about her cellphone use and your dessert eating, and I’ll bet you can work out a compromise that unravels your dilemma.

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“How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” is out now! Annie Lane’s second anthology — featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit Creators Publishing for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to [email protected].