Dear Annie: Is it better to like someone rather than love someone in a marriage?

Dear Annie: I read about people in your column wanting to end their marriage because they don’t love their significant other anymore. Here is a piece of advice I was given back in the ‘70s that, if followed, may help others avoid this. I’m sorry to say I didn’t follow it for two short-term marriages, but I did for the third one and we are still going strong.

I had a teacher in high school who told us the story of when he announced his daughter was getting married. People were excited for him. He said he asked his daughter one question — what do you think it was? All the girls in class said, “Do you love him?” He said no. He asked her if she liked him. You always hear of people falling out of love, but you rarely hear of someone falling out of “like.” It’s better to start out liking someone and let it grow into love so you have a firm foundation for the future. — Love vs. Like

Dear Love vs. Like: Brilliant — thank you for sharing this lesson.

Long-lasting, successful relationships are incredibly special, but rare. After the butterflies and the honeymoon period fade, it’s vital to take stock of what remains. Shared values, mutual respect and steadfast commitment to one another are undoubtedly three very important elements in the recipe to longtime love.

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“How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” is out now! Annie Lane’s second anthology — featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit Creators Publishing for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to [email protected].