Dear Annie: Every Thanksgiving, my brother hosts the holiday meal — at my house. He does most of the cooking, which I appreciate, but every year we end up in the same strange tug-of-war over the thermostat.

As soon as he starts bustling around the kitchen, he turns the heat down and switches on the ceiling fan. Meanwhile, I’m sitting there shivering in my own home, layered in a sweater and blanket while guests try to pretend they’re not freezing. He says he gets too hot while cooking and needs the air circulating, but it’s getting to the point where I dread bringing it up, because he brushes me off or laughs it off like I’m being dramatic.

I don’t want to start a fight or make him feel unwelcome, especially since he’s doing so much work, but I’m tired of freezing in my own home on a day that’s supposed to feel warm and cozy. How can I set a boundary without turning Thanksgiving into a cold war? — Chilled and Frustrated

Dear Chilled and Frustrated: It is generous of you to open your home and kind of your brother to cook, but hospitality should go both ways. If you are uncomfortable in your own house, it is perfectly reasonable to say so. Let him know ahead of time that while you appreciate his effort, the thermostat needs to stay at a level that keeps everyone, including you, comfortable. Suggest he dress in lighter clothing or take a few breaks to cool off.

Thanksgiving should bring warmth in spirit, not goosebumps from the cold.

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“How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” is out now! Annie Lane’s second anthology — featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit Creators Publishing for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to [email protected].