Dear Annie: I’m having problems with my roommate

Dear Annie: I moved away from my abusive family as soon as I was old enough. To save money, I moved in with a person who was in similar circumstances. Although “Cindy” is quite a bit older than me, we thought that being roommates made sense because of our similar backgrounds.

Cindy and I got along well at first. However, it’s been close to a year now, and things have started popping up. Cindy is a Bible-thumping believer, as was I (due to our backgrounds). However, my views have changed since I’m on my own, and Cindy’s have not.

Another problem is that Cindy is sometimes oblivious to other people’s needs and feelings. Once, she was a half-hour late to something we needed to do together, and she only gave me 10 minutes advance notice that we would be so late. I had made plans for the time AFTER we were supposed to be finished, and she made me miss them.

I have already started looking for a new apartment. But then Cindy dropped a bombshell. She has applied for a job with the same company where I work. She says “we could share rides together.” She can’t manage money and can’t afford a decent car, so the one she has is constantly breaking down. I immediately told her that while I could ride with her occasionally, I would not be doing that all the time, as I look forward to the half-hour drive by myself every day. But I can’t stand the thought of seeing her 24/7! I’m too polite, so how do I tell her that? — Roommate Trouble

Dear Roommate Trouble: Cindy might be quite a bit older than you, but she is acting like a child. Start by telling Cindy the things you like about her, and then calmly outline the things that are really bothering you about this roommate situation, just as you did in your letter. It’s good that you told her you don’t want to carpool, but you should also tell her that you have started looking for a new apartment. Set the boundaries that you need, and the rest is up to Cindy. You’ve put up with too much abuse in your life already.

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“How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” is out now! Annie Lane’s second anthology — featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit Creators Publishing for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to [email protected].