Dear Annie: Iâm tired of accommodating my sister-in-lawâs ever-changing holiday plans

Dear Annie: I’m frustrated with my sister-in-law and the way that she plans the holidays that she hosts or organizes. Generally, what happens is that she will reach out to the family to see what will work for everyone. We’ll make any other plans around the agreed-upon plan. Then, closer to the holiday, my sister-in-law will change the plans saying that the new plans work better for her family. Most often the new plans conflict with other plans that we’ve made.

This year she not only changed the day and time of our family get-together but also decided that it would be held at her house rather than ours.

I don’t want to miss seeing the rest of our family since we likely won’t go to other holiday events that are being held indoors this year, but I feel like, if we keep accommodating her behavior, it will continue to happen. What’s your take on it? — Tired of Accommodating

Dear Tired of Accommodating: My take for this year is simple: Don’t go to or host indoor gatherings with people outside of your household. As for next year and the years after that, if and when your sister-in-law attempts these last-minute changes, just say no — politely, of course. You can keep it simple: Something like, “We’d like to keep to the time and place that we all agreed to.” It’s reasonable to ask that everyone stick to the agreed-upon time and place, out of consideration for everyone’s schedules. That’s the whole point of plans, after all.

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“How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” is out now! Annie Lane’s second anthology — featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit Creators Publishing for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to [email protected].