Dear Annie: Iâm tired of being his girlfriend and nothing more

Dear Annie: I’m a widow who’s been dating a wonderful guy who treats me very well. He respects me 100%. He’s in his 50s and has always been single. He’s never been married. We’ve been seeing each other for 17 months now. The relationship is great, and our chemistry is perfect. But he doesn’t want to take it any further — no marriage, or I’d even settle for being engaged forever.

I would like to see him take one more step. He always tells me how much he loves me, and I feel the same way about him, but I’m tired of being his girlfriend and nothing more. What do you suggest? — Waiting for the Commitment Ring

Dear Waiting: If you want to make your relationship work for the long haul, one of you has to be willing to compromise. Have an open, honest conversation with your boyfriend about your future and what you are and aren’t willing to budge on. If you know he cares for and is loyal to you, does it really matter whether you have a ring and a wedding to solidify it? On the other hand, if he knows he loves you and sees a serious future together, what’s the harm in taking that next step?

Ultimately, if you two are unable to land on a solution you’re both happy with, this may not be the long-term relationship for either of you.

Read more Dear Annie and other advice columns.

“How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” is out now! Annie Lane’s second anthology — featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit Creators Publishing for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to [email protected].