Dear Annie: Iâm broke, how do I tell loved ones I wonât be giving as many gifts?

Dear Annie: I have always been a giver and enjoy making people happy. I remember everyone’s birthdays with cards and gifts. My Christmas list seems to grow longer every year. Most of the recipients are out of town, which means expensive mailing postage. I live in constant credit card debt. How can I cut back on or eliminate gifts altogether without offending anyone? Do I send a “notice” at the beginning of the year as a heads-up so they won’t send me anything throughout the year? Please help me. — Broke Not Cheap

Dear Broke: The point of a gift is to let someone know you were thinking of them. Toward that end, a thoughtfully written card is just as good — and often even better — than a material present.

I don’t think it warrants an official notice. When you talk to close friends and family on the phone, be honest with them: Let them know you’re trying to pay off some debt and will be cutting back on gift-giving this year. Those who mind don’t matter and those who matter won’t mind.

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“How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” is out now! Annie Lane’s second anthology — featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit Creators Publishing for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to [email protected].