Dear Annie: I am a woman in my 50s who always thought I had good manners.

Recently, I have had several appointments with a new physician, who is in her 30s. She knew she had been recommended by my friend and next-door neighbor, who is a physician of the same specialty but does not see private patients.

She immediately addressed me by my first name, which I thought was friendly and lovely. When I reciprocated and called her by her first name, she informed me that it was not appropriate for a patient to call a doctor by her first name.

Did I miss something in my junior high etiquette classes, or did she? Is there a rule about how people in a professional relationship should address each other? — Just Wondering

Dear Wondering: Since she was referred to you by your neighbor, who is a doctor and who, I assume, you call by her first name, it is understandable that you addressed this young physician by her first name.

However, as a general rule, it is better to err on the side of caution and address doctors as “Dr.” until they tell you otherwise.

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“How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” is out now! Annie Lane’s second anthology — featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit Creators Publishing for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to [email protected].