Dear Annie: I tried to reconnect with an old flame, but he only wants to be friends now

Dear Annie: I’m a senior citizen who’s still in love with a younger man that I had a brief, passionate experience with over two decades ago. A few years before COVID came, I went to visit him. We live in different states now, and although he was kind when I went to visit him, he made it clear that he was never going to come to visit me. We still communicate occasionally by text, but rarely by phone. Also, the texts are becoming more random rather than daily, as they were in the beginning. He said he wants to be friends. I don’t know if I should even continue communicating with him. What’s your advice? — Lonely

Dear Lonely: My advice is to cut this guy off because he’s clearly not interested in a committed relationship. Try making connections in your area through a church or an adult sports league. You can also try dating apps if you are missing that romantic connection. There are people all around you who are also searching for connection; don’t waste your time on the ones who don’t give you the attention you deserve.

Dear Annie: After reading your response to “Missing the Romance,” I felt inclined to add to the conversation. My husband and I have been married nearly 20 years. Prior to that, we were engaged and living separately for two years. I can honestly say that we both enjoyed our separate houses just as much as our joint living situation. He joked about living in a duplex, me on one side and him on the other. If it wasn’t for our child, I think we would’ve kept our separate residences. Maybe living separately would motivate them to spend more quality time together. It would also settle the disagreement over expenses and the issue with the dogs. — Loved My Own Place

Dear Loved My Own Place: There is no “right” way to be in a relationship. It sounds like you and your husband found a creative solution that could work for many other couples. Thanks for sharing!

Dear Readers: Happy St. Patrick’s Day! Today, March 17, we remember and honor St. Patrick, the patron saint believed to have popularized Christianity in Ireland during the fifth century.

In the spirit of the occasion, I wanted to share with you one of my favorite quotes about luck from Roald Dahl: “We are all a great deal luckier than we realize; we usually get what we want — or near enough.” Today and always, may we remember just how fortunate we are for the people and blessings in our lives. However you and your circle are celebrating today, I wish you a fun and fortuitous holiday.

View prior ‘Dear Annie’ columns

“How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” is out now! Annie Lane’s second anthology — featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit Creators Publishing for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to [email protected].