Dear Annie: The woman who wrote to you to say that she became friends with the ex-wife was very lucky. I tried so hard and was shut out.

At one point, I wrote her a letter about everything we had in common, including loving the kids, and she threatened to sue me for harassment. The kids would have benefited from our being in partnership for their welfare, if for no other reason. — Sad in Lakewood

Dear Sad in Lakewood: We cannot control other people’s reactions to what we do, but we can control how we treat them.

For the sake of the kids, it is always better for them to see their families get along rather than having them see exes fight and not get along.

Read more Dear Annie and other advice columns.

“How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” is out now! Annie Lane’s second anthology — featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit Creators Publishing for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to [email protected].