Dear Annie: I love where I work, but my husband is pressing me to get a job that pays more
Dear Annie: I’ve been married for a long time, and we have teenagers now. When they were young, I took a full-time position working in a school so that I could be on the same schedule as them and we wouldn’t have to worry about care during the summer and on winter or spring breaks.
Taking this position cut my salary in half. But I have been at the same school for quite some time now and have fallen in love with it. I love my job. I love my co-workers. I love going to work every day. Now that our kids are approaching their college years, my husband has been pressing me about getting a new job so that my salary could be what it used to be. My issues are this:
No. 1: I’ve been out of the corporate workforce for so long that I feel I cannot compete with the recent college grads requiring less training or salary and are more up to date on technology and computer programs.
No. 2: I love my job. How many people are blessed enough to say that? It would break my heart to leave.
I understand the financial responsibility and all, but it’s the fact I love my job that makes me not want to leave, and my husband just doesn’t seem to care or understand. Please give me some advice! — Unsure
Dear Unsure: It’s rare that a job can give you everything you want, but it sounds like this job checks 90% of your boxes. I love how passionate you are about your career, and it sounds like the position is a great fit for you.
It is, however, important to address the financial side of things. If you keep your current job, does it put your family in a difficult position? Does your husband resent being the main breadwinner? If you do the math and agree to cut back on some spending, your husband might come around. Really let him know how important your job is to you — and that loving what you do is a gift that should be treasured, not demeaned, even if it means having to make a few financial sacrifices.
Dear Annie: I applaud “Remotely Religious,” who is struggling to respond to fellow parishioners about their less frequent church attendance despite a deepened personal faith in God, and your response to them. I, too, feel closer to God in my 60s than I ever have before. Instead of performing rituals, such as asking to bless my meal, out of habit or obligation, I now pray and give thanks on numerous occasions because it gives me joy.
As a result, worshiping God has been a totally different experience later in life for me. It has been wonderful to be freed from going through the motions by talking with God at a much more personal and private level. Thank you, Annie! — Personally Religious
Dear Personally Religious: I applaud you, too. Faith looks different to everyone, and as God’s children, I’m confident God knows our hearts and intentions, whether we show up to pray in a place of worship or in our own homes. How we choose to best connect with God is up to each individual worshiper. Thank you for sharing with us about your special connection.
View prior ‘Dear Annie’ columns
“How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” is out now! Annie Lane’s second anthology — featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit Creators Publishing for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to [email protected].
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