Dear Annie: I invite my relatives to events and functions but they only attend a fraction of the time

Dear Annie: I enjoyed and wholeheartedly agreed with your advice to “Discouraged Great Aunt,” who persistently invites her relatives to events and functions, which they attend only a fraction of the time. Relationships are a two-way street, and she sounds like a very thoughtful person. I have no idea what the makeup of her nephew’s family is, but if it’s anything like ours (six kids, ages infant through 13 years old), I wanted to add that attending events can be a huge logistical challenge in a large family.

While my husband and I love being parents to so many children, attending events with so many people of varying ages in tow is an event in and of itself. Our usual obligations — church, school, daily chores and meals, etc. — take more time and thought than when we had a smaller family, so we don’t attend as many extraneous events as we used to, or take off on a whim to visit family and friends as we may have done in the past. However, this is not a bad thing as it allows us to make the events we do partake in more memorable.

I’ve told family and friends that our idea of a good time spent with family now is getting together in our backyard with a pitcher of lemonade to watch the kids play, or meeting halfway between cities at a playground or for a picnic, etc. I love it when a grandparent says, “I’ll be in the area soon. Can I come for supper and bring pizza?” The little things that don’t take much money or effort matter so much to us. Besides, we’ve found that the majority of magical interactions between children and older relatives come from a child at ease in their normal environment. Thanks, Annie! — Mom of Many

Dear Mom of Many: I couldn’t agree with you more. An outing doesn’t have to be super elaborate to be special. At the end of the day, spending time with our loved ones is what matters, and I encourage “Discouraged” to lean into the little, low-pressure moments with her family.

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“How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” is out now! Annie Lane’s second anthology — featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit Creators Publishing for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to [email protected].