Dear Annie: I can’t say no to my boss

Dear Annie: I’ve always been a people-pleaser, and it’s wearing me down. My boss, “Mark,” constantly asks me to take on extra tasks because he knows I won’t say no.

Last week, I stayed late three nights in a row to finish a project that wasn’t even mine. And it’s not just at work, either. My roommate “Rachel” is constantly asking for favors (walking her dog, picking her up something from the store), and I always say yes even when it’s pretty inconvenient.

I feel guilty saying no to any of this, but I also feel the resentment beginning to grow. I want to be a good employee and a reliable, compassionate friend. How do I know where to draw the line? — Overwhelmed and Worn Out

Dear Overwhelmed: Being a good employee and reliable friend doesn’t mean saying yes to everything. If you feel resentment brewing, that’s a surefire sign that you’ve let the people-pleasing go too far.

You can either air out your grievances or jump right into changing your ways by telling Mark you’re already at capacity with your own tasks and letting Rachel know you simply won’t have time to run an extra errand.

Resentment is a clear sign that you need to start protecting your time. People who respect you will respect that choice.

Read more Dear Annie and other advice columns.

“How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” is out now! Annie Lane’s second anthology — featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit Creators Publishing for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to [email protected].