Dear Annie, How do I stand up to a passive-aggressive friend?

Dear Annie: I read the letter from “Frustrated Friend,” who was struggling with how to handle a “frenemy,” and my heart went out to her, as I have lived the exact same situation.

You are perfectly correct in your response that this person is no friend.

I, too, never knew how to handle my frenemy because the insults were always spoken sotto voce or to someone else but always loud enough for me to hear, or, as “Frustrated Friend” says, “embarrassing” because they were said “while in the company of others.”

You suggest, “Stand up for yourself the next time she insults you.” I would love to get some suggestions from you on how to handle this type of individual.

How does one stand up to someone who is so passive aggressive? — Been There

Dear Been There: The best way to stand up to a bully (even a passive aggressive one) is to stand up to the bully directly.

Let them know very directly that you don’t have time for passive aggressive games.

If they continue to try to boss you around through passive aggressiveness, it might be time to pack your bags and look for a new friend.

Read more Dear Annie and other advice columns.

“How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” is out now! Annie Lane’s second anthology — featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit Creators Publishing for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to [email protected].