Dear Annie: I am new to online dating. I started up with it after my husband’s sudden death last year. He died just before the COVID-19 shutdowns began, which left me feeling even more isolated and sad. I moved away from my hometown to be closer to my oldest son, but I don’t know anyone in this town aside from him.

Being so lonely, a few months ago I started going on Facebook and a dating app to try to meet men. I connected with one man I was interested in. Instead of stopping there, though, I kept chatting around and connected with seven more guys. I chat with each of them daily. They all say that they’ll love me forever, but not one has come to meet me in person yet. I’d prefer to have a boyfriend whom I could actually meet in person.

I like all of them, and I love something about each of them, but I feel torn, since I can only marry one man. I hate to hurt seven men. Do you think that I made a big mistake by talking to eight men? I feel bad that I’ve been holding up their lives just to break their hearts. — Lonely Widow

Dear Lonely: I’m so sorry for the loss of your husband. It’s wonderful you’ve taken initiative to reach out to others to alleviate your sense of isolation. But you won’t find real companionship in men who can’t even be bothered to meet you in person (and who could be scammers).

Rather than wasting your time chatting with these men online, get outside and get to know your new town. Join a book club, walking group, tennis clinic — anything that piques your interest. The point is to plant your seed and let a social life take root.

If you do decide to try meeting men online, stick to well-reputed dating sites such as Match.com, and when you think you have a connection with someone, promptly make plans to meet in person in a coffee shop or other public place.

Read more Dear Annie and other advice columns.

“How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” is out now! Annie Lane’s second anthology — featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit Creators Publishing for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to [email protected].