Dear Annie: After 13 years, my boyfriend (he’s 49, and I’m 57) literally ghosted me for a whole week directly following a birthday party with the family at my parents’ house. There was no explanation why.

We’ve had our ups and downs, as I was seriously injured and emerged with a partially paralyzed right leg in 2018. I’ve regained most of my strength and just walk with a limp, but day-to-day living is challenging and painful, yet I never complain and only cry at night when I’m alone. He states he deeply loves me but needs his space.

Prior to our relationship, I was divorced, as was my boyfriend. After divorcing, I bought a smaller home only blocks from him, so not seeing him or passing his house is inevitable. He states he’s tired of going over the same things regarding his needs and is done. Me sleeping over and more sex are tops on his list. I’ve raised my kids alone after divorcing and do not have an amicable relationship with my ex as he does with his.

My kids are now 23 and 21, and his are 16 and 12. I told him in no uncertain terms that over the last few years I have pulled back in the bedroom because he looks right through me, never compliments me and only kisses me prior to being intimate. I’m a warm, nurturing woman who needs and wants attention and affection, so I told him to try meeting me halfway — to meet in the middle and work together. He refuses and now, after a week or two, is ignoring me completely. I’m lost, brokenhearted and truly floundering as we always planned on being together forever. He said there is no one else and he still loves me with all his heart, but he’s “done.”

I love him dearly and want him back, but I am not sacrificing my needs for his, as I have been more of a wife, best friend, lover and companion to him than his two prior wives and have given endlessly from the heart but am now feeling empty. How do I move on? — Torn

Dear Torn: Given the facts stated in your letter, it doesn’t seem like the two of you are compatible or able to meet each other’s needs. The sooner you come to that realization, the sooner you can both move on and find someone who is easier to get along with and who appreciates you for you, rather than complaining about your needs. The same is true for him. I know that it is painful to let go, but it would be a lot more painful to stay in a relationship that is broken. You are going through a thunderstorm right now, but remember that a rainbow comes after and just hold out hope that your rainbow will shine soon.

View prior ‘Dear Annie’ columns

“How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” is out now! Annie Lane’s second anthology — featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit Creators Publishing for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to [email protected].

COPYRIGHT 2023 CREATORS.COM