Dear Annie: Bullying by teachers in school had a negative effect on me

Dear Annie: You have run several letters about bullying, and I have to add something to this topic. Bullying by teachers in school had a profound negative effect on me.

I was sent to a private religious elementary school until eighth grade. It was a horrible experience. The teachers — nuns, for the most part — ruled by fear with physical punishment for infractions and sarcasm. I remember that after witnessing this, the rest of the students were pretty afraid and compliant.

The parents supported the teachers and did not have our backs. Needless to say, this experience ruined my love of learning and made me feel helpless. I frequently thought about running away.

I finally stood up for myself and refused to continue the religious education and went to the public high school. This led to my leaving home after high school and getting married young. I struggled with feelings of low self-esteem and poor life choices until my late 20s, when I finally divorced my abusive husband and finished my education.

Although I am now happily married and have wonderful kids, my life would have been easier if I had had supportive parents and was not bullied as a child. I always resented my parents for allowing this, but they were bullies as well and believed in physical punishment.

Needless to say, my kids were not raised like I was. I would not allow any teacher to mistreat them, and I always had their backs. — Bullying Victim

Dear Bullying Victim: You obviously had terrible experiences, both at home and in school. Your children are lucky that you were so determined to look out for them. I have received thousands of letters over the years praising religious schools for a variety of reasons. But since you were victimized, it is good to shine a light on what we all should work to avoid. Thank you for writing, and I hope your story helps others know they are not alone.

Read more Dear Annie and other advice columns.

“How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” is out now! Annie Lane’s second anthology — featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit Creators Publishing for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to [email protected].