Dear Annie: Using the word “lost” for someone who has died is a word that we learned not to use in our bereavement group.

Our loved ones are not lost. It makes a grieving family member have a very negative emotion. — Daphne K., Vancouver, Washington

Dear Daphne: The phrasing is so automatic that I’d never given much consideration to its connotations.

I really appreciate your bringing it to my attention, and it’s something I’ll be more cognizant of in the future.

Read more Dear Annie and other advice columns.

“How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” is out now! Annie Lane’s second anthology — featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit Creators Publishing for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to [email protected].