Dear Annie: Being soft-spoken in a loud family

Dear Annie: A reader wrote to you about the family dynamic of rudely interrupting one another and how her mother-in-law hated it. She would quietly leave the table when it would happen.

I am soft-spoken, too, and I married into a very loud, boisterous family where only the loudest get a word in edgewise. I can’t even begin to get a sentence out sometimes. I usually soon give up and read a magazine or something.

My son started noticing when I or anyone else was interrupted and would remember who was interrupted and what was being talked about at the time. Then, no matter how long the conversation continued after that, he would say something like, “Mom, you were going to say something; what were you going to say?” If I had forgotten, he would remind me of the topic at the time, and I would usually remember.

He would do this for me, my nephew and all the other shy people who don’t often get a chance to be heard. Usually, the interrupter would get the hint and look slightly embarrassed.

It made me feel better that I finally got to finish a thought, and it was such a good idea, I started doing it for everyone, too. I make a mental note of who tried to speak and what the topic was, and then I make a point of circling back to let that person finish their thought. It makes me feel good to help others to be heard and to not feel so small and unimportant. — Not so Rudely Interrupted Anymore

Dear Not So Rudely Interrupted Anymore: While it is wonderful that your son was able to stick up for you, it is even better that you are able to stick up for yourself and others.

However, try not to be so judgmental about your husband’s family. If that is the manner in which they are used to communicating, then they enjoy it. You just have to continue to speak up for yourself.

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“How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” is out now! Annie Lane’s second anthology — featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit Creators Publishing for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to [email protected].