Dear Annie: I have wanted to ask this question for some time. I have a very old and good (I thought) friend I’ve known for over 50 years. We live in different states. I would text him several times a week and phone weekly.

My friend always responds right away and seems delighted to hear from me. He is in his middle 60s, divorced and lives alone. He often says he cares about me. However, if I don’t text or call, I never hear from him. Why do you think this is? — Puzzled in Arizona

Dear Puzzled: He might be really shy, especially if he is so responsive after you initiate contact. If you want him to start more of the dialogue, why don’t you tell him that? Remember that people are not mind readers, and if he doesn’t know that you would like him to pick up the phone, maybe he thinks you like it the way it is. You have to tell him how you feel and what your expectations are for a relationship.

Dear Annie: I wrote to you months ago about how those of us who have navigated a successfully long marriage can help all the newlyweds succeed, and you gave some great advice. I wanted to let you know of something that happened just a few days ago that reinforced the soundness of what you wrote.

My wife and I went to a harvest festival at a farmer’s museum and saw young couples on dates holding hands and old couples doing the same. We saw young families who were having so much fun just running around, going on the carousel, taking the hayride, working together on children’s projects, taking in live performances and interacting with the farm animals.

I loved seeing the extended families interacting with one another, three generations having fun together. With everyone being together without the distractions of social media, electronic games, laptops, etc., one could just feel in the air the tight bonds we have for our relationships.

I’m sure that some will leave the museum and return to unhealthy situations, but for those few hours, it just felt so right. You were wise when you wrote that “if your relationship is planted in nature with lots of communication, books and mutual respect, that relationship will blossom into a beautiful one.” I saw it firsthand just a few days ago. — Longing to Help

Dear Longing to Help: It is a beautiful gift to be able to take in a moment and savor all of its goodness. If, each day, we notice the good things around us, we will start to get more of those good things. What we appreciate appreciates.

Yes, getting off of social media or any form of screens for a while is always a great thing and can bring more harmony to life. Thank you for writing.

View prior ‘Dear Annie’ columns

“How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” is out now! Annie Lane’s second anthology — featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit Creators Publishing for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to [email protected].

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