Dear Annie: When I was in high school, a friend of one of my brothers had a crush on me. I’ll call him “Kurt.” He was nice and funny, had his own car and treated me to a lot of cool things (concerts, restaurants, etc.). I was never attracted to him romantically and told him that frequently. I really enjoyed his friendship, but that was it. If Kurt became too aggressive, my brother (Ethan) would talk to him, and he would back off.

Fast forward 45 years, and Ethan is deceased, and Kurt has dementia. Both Kurt and I are married with children and grandchildren. Kurt’s dementia is being treated with 15 experimental drugs through his hospital. Several months ago, my sister gave Kurt my phone number and email address. Kurt sends me extremely graphic texts about the type of things he would like to do with me. I know it’s the disease talking, so I just try to ignore it. My husband has had to interpret some of the stuff for me because I’ve never heard some of the really hardcore terms before.

I can handle the 15 texts, WhatsApp messages and emails, but Kurt just had lunch with a group of friends he and my brother shared. Kurt told them about the “sexting” he and I do! There has been no sharing on my side. My response is always platonic and a “Have a good day” type of thing. I’m mortified because one of these friends is married to a girl I used to be good friends with. I’m not in touch with her because we moved to a different state, but we do have friends in common. I know Kurt’s disease is doing this, but I’m not sure how to handle it these days. Help! — Unsettled by Sexting

Dear Unsettled: Kurt’s inaccurate representation of your relationship puts you in an undeniably awkward, uncomfortable (not to mention, unfair) position. Considering his condition, I imagine this is among many things he’s said that aren’t based in reality. I would try as best you can to continue letting his comments roll off your back. Feel free to correct any rumors in the moment if they come up and you’re with friends; you’re involuntarily part of this narrative he’s weaved, so it’s within your right to set the record straight. Do not engage when he makes these remarks. Beyond that, it’s probably safe to assume that your mutual friends who know your character — and who are aware of Kurt’s condition — also know at face value that these stories aren’t true.

I give great kudos to you and your husband for how you’ve handled a delicate situation. You both clearly trust and respect each other to where something like this can come up without it negatively affecting your marriage or planting seeds of insecurity or doubt, which is very special.

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