Dear Annie: Am I an alcoholic because Iâve been in and around a bar scene often?

Dear Annie: I am writing in response to “Big City Drinker” and wanted to share that they are not alone in wondering if they’ve become an alcoholic through being in and around a bar scene so often.

During my graduate college years, I worked at a bar and found myself struggling with the same situation. I was lucky to have friends who noticed I was going downhill and would call me out on it. It’s still something I have to keep a close eye on, even though I don’t work in a bar anymore. I found that, for me, the bar was a familiar place where I felt all my friends were. I wanted to stay with these friends and co-workers and blow off steam after being treated poorly by patrons on many occasions. After some time, it was hard to separate in my mind my friends from the bar. Eventually, however, I found that the true friends stuck by me as I gradually chose to be “boring” and go home instead of hanging out until 1 or 2 in the morning.

Best of luck to “Big City Drinker.” Many of us out here have felt something similar to what you feel. — Fellow Bar Friend

Dear Fellow Bar Friend: Great work in recognizing that the bar lifestyle was not working for you. Your letter brings up a very important point; namely, that your true friends stuck by you when you went home early. Who wants fake friends? By recognizing that late-night drinking isn’t working for you anymore, you will feel better both in your body and in your soul.

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“How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” is out now! Annie Lane’s second anthology — featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit Creators Publishing for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to [email protected].