Dear Annie: For 25 years, I thought my husband was blurting out inappropriate things too often in conversations. He was somewhat like his mother, who once said to me, “You look like you are going to cry,” as I fiercely attempted to retain my composure. Little did I realize that their “faux pas” blurts were attempts to read emotions uninterpretable to them.

After my husband’s sister had a wonderful, creative and happy autistic son, I found a college textbook on adult Asperger’s at a yard sale and my eyes were opened. It explained to me that we were both failing to see the other’s emotional point of view. “Sad Wife’s” husband, who often blurts out offensive things, might be on the spectrum, too.

By the way, we will celebrate 50 years of marriage in November. My husband still blurts occasionally, but now I realize he wouldn’t have even thought about holding back if I hadn’t taught him what is “nice” or “appropriate.” — Understanding Asperger’s

Dear Understanding: Thank you for your letter. You bring up a great point about why “Sad Wife’s” husband might blurt out inappropriate or offensive comments. Although I do think your mother-in-law saying you look like you are going to cry, even if she doesn’t understand social etiquette, is a bit cruel. Glad that you now have an understanding as to why your husband and mother-in-law can act so brash.

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“How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” is out now! Annie Lane’s second anthology — featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit Creators Publishing for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to [email protected].

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