DEAR ABBY: Where is the line, and how can I find it, between not judging someone and holding them accountable for their behavior? I know every situation is different, but is there some general guidance you can offer? — WONDERING IN OREGON

DEAR WONDERING: When you judge another person, it implies that you hold yourself above them. By judging someone, you are not necessarily holding that person accountable. Holding someone accountable doesn’t necessarily mean you’re judging the person, but rather establishing a boundary you feel shouldn’t be crossed.

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Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.