DEAR ABBY: I met a man at the grocery store and I don’t know if he is The One. He seems to keep trying, but at times he says mean things. He also refuses to buy a new bed. His bed is from his divorce. It is the bed he and his ex-wife shared. I’d prefer he get a new one.

Am I too uncompromising? I have been hurt a lot in the past because I was raised to be “nice” and “nonjudgmental,” which really hasn’t been helpful in life. I accepted a lot of mistreatment, and many men hurt me. I am not sure if this guy is any different.

Should I wait to date him until he gets new furniture? At this point, we only talk and text on the phone. — PUT OFF IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR PUT OFF: Slow down. With your unfortunate romantic history, it’s important you get to know men before you invest emotionally in them. Because all you do at this point is text each other and talk on the phone, it is premature to expect this guy to shell out for a new bed. (See if you can talk him into investing in a new MATTRESS and work your way up from there.) It may give you an opportunity to gauge how open he is to compromise, which is important in any lasting romantic relationship.

Read more Dear Abby and other advice columns.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.