DEAR ABBY: As a young mother, I endured a difficult marriage filled with domestic abuse. In the midst of that turmoil, I struggled to be the parent my children needed. They are adults now, and I find myself distanced from them. It pains me deeply to know they want nothing to do with me. I can’t help but feel I ruined their lives, and the weight of that thought is unbearable.

I miss them dearly and long for the chance to reconnect and heal our relationship. I’m at a crossroads and unsure of how to move forward and mend the bonds that have been strained. I deeply regret my past mistakes and want to make things right, but I’m uncertain where to start. Thank you for your guidance. — LOST AND OVERWHELMED IN CANADA

DEAR LOST: I know of no perfect parents. Everyone makes mistakes. I wish you had mentioned why you think you “ruined your children’s lives.” Were you physically or emotionally abusive?

Did you abandon them? If that’s what happened, reach out. Apologize and offer to join them in family counseling if they are willing. It might be a healthy first step toward reconciliation.

Read more Dear Abby and other advice columns.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.