DEAR ABBY: I am divorced and have an adult son. He hasn’t been back for four or five years. His dad had a heart attack, so my son took a few days to come home. I texted to see how his dad was doing and got only short responses. My son made no attempt to see me while he was here — not a one-hour visit or even a phone call.

I have never been so hurt. I am beyond devastated. I know it’s not about me, but I have feelings, and I feel like I don’t exist to either of them. My ex and I are both in relationships. Should I quit trying to communicate with my son? I don’t want to do this, but spin it any way you want, he didn’t want to see me. So, is it, “When a door closes, quit knocking”? I am crushed. What should I do? — STILL MOM IN CANADA

DEAR MOM: Your son’s visit was not about you. It was about his father who had suffered a heart attack and could have died. It’s entirely possible that your son had his hands full dealing with his dad and the circumstances surrounding his treatment and care. If you hadn’t seen your son in four or five years, you may not have been that close to begin with. Leave it alone. If you continue to pursue and personalize this, you will only drive your son further away.

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Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.