DEAR ABBY: I have been happily married for 30 years. Since my wife recently retired, her crossword hobby has become an obsession. She does them all day, whether we are watching TV, talking or eating meals. When we go out, she carries crossword puzzles to do or does them on her phone. When our kids visit, she ignores them and does crossword puzzles. During the last holiday celebrations, she sat staring at her phone crosswords instead of participating in family interactions. If she were my child, I would take away her phone. But she’s an adult and my wife, so I can’t do that. Before she retired, she did crossword puzzles two or three times a week, and we had fun doing them together. Now I am completely ignored. I have talked to her about my feelings. It didn’t help, so I’m hoping to get some good advice from you. — PUZZLED HUSBAND

DEAR PUZZLED: Talk to your wife again. Tell her you no longer are willing to be ignored while she indulges in her obsession with crossword puzzles. What she’s doing is unfair to you and the family. Suggest the two of you consult a licensed marriage and family therapist. If she refuses, schedule some sessions for yourself. From what you have described, your marriage is in trouble, and your wife is using her crossword puzzles to escape from the real world.

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Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.