DEAR ABBY: My wife and I have been married since 1968. The last time we were intimate was in 1984. The house is in both of our names. Nine years ago, she asked one of our sons to come live with us. She never asked me how I felt about it.

Our son continues to live here, and he pays no rent or anything else toward our living expenses. He literally lives the life of a teenage boy, although he’s almost 48. I pay all the household bills. He has a job and makes more than I do (my pension).

I do not want a boarder in my home, but I can hardly evict him. Our other four children are all successful, own their own homes and live the lives of responsible adults. Do I need a lawyer, or perhaps a backbone? — OVER IT IN OHIO

DEAR OVER IT: You may need both. Although it’s late, consider also engaging the services of a licensed marriage and family therapist. I don’t know what the laws about community assets in your state are, but a lawyer can enlighten you. Because your 48-year-old teenager has been living with you for so long, you may need one or both to pry him out of there.

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Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.