DEAR ABBY: I am married to a man who is incarcerated. As you can imagine, it’s been hard on our family. I have two kids with him. I was pregnant with our youngest when he was arrested. According to his mother, since my husband went to prison, I can’t do anything right. She yells at me that she has it worse than I do regarding my husband.

Her reason is that she’s his mother, and nothing can change that, while I can always “throw him away” as a husband. She also resented it when I went to counseling because she wants me to tell her my troubles. When I tried, she’d always turn it back to her problems. She’s judgmental and mean. She calls it being “outspoken.”

Abby, am I wrong for being upset? Do you think she wants me to divorce her son or something? I think it was rude and stupid of her to say that to me. I married her son and had children with him. I don’t understand why she thinks we are competing. If it’s a competition, we’re both losing. We both have it bad. Just because she’s having a hard time doesn’t make whatever I’m going through any less bad, does it? — CONVICT’S WIFE IN OHIO

DEAR WIFE: I suspect there is nothing your mother-in-law would like better than for you to divorce her son. If you did, she would have him all to her overbearing self. She thinks you are competing because SHE is. Stay out of her way as much as possible until your husband’s release. Do NOT confide in her. You have enough to contend with without her stirring the pot, and you can rest assured she will.

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Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.