DEAR ABBY: I’ve been with my husband, “Harry,” for 10 years, married for four, and already I’d like a divorce. We have two small children. I’m a stay-at-home mom while he works and pays the bills.

The problem is, he feels that because he works, he doesn’t have to do anything else. He doesn’t help around the house, help with the kids, spend time with us, nothing! I only ask that he do these things on his days off, but his days off are reserved strictly for himself.

Some days I could use a hand with our children. While I’m doing absolutely everything, he just sits acting like he doesn’t hear or see what’s going on in front of him. Even after seeing me becoming overwhelmed and frustrated, he won’t help me.

I’ve had a thousand conversations with him about stepping up more when he’s home, but it goes in one ear and out the other. I’d rather be single than have him just sit around when he’s home because “he pays for everything.” Am I wrong to feel this way? I need help. — OUT OF BALANCE IN NORTH CAROLINA

DEAR OUT OF BALANCE: Offer your husband a choice. Either the two of you talk with a marriage and family therapist to help rid him of his selective deafness, or you hire someone to help with the heavier chores he’s unwilling to do. If he balks, remind him that you know he’s tired of your nagging and it would be cheaper than a divorce.

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Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.