DEAR ABBY: I am a divorced woman. My fiancé, “Keith,” is a widower. My two younger children have accepted and love him. My oldest daughter is slowly coming around. However, Keith’s adult adopted sons and daughter are making it hard. One son has refused to have any contact with his father since his mom’s death three years ago. The other son and daughter have been causing A LOT of pain because of their hatred toward Keith and me.

Keith and I argue more now, and I’m so overwhelmed and stressed that I’m often in tears. What can I do to get his son and daughter off our case? We have known each other more than 20 years and have been a couple for a year and a half. — UNACCEPTED IN MISSOURI

DEAR UNACCEPTED: There is nothing you can do to change the attitudes of your fiancé’s adult children. You can, however, stay out of the line of fire. I wish you had mentioned what caused the hard feelings from Keith’s children. Could they think you and Keith were romantically involved before his wife’s death?

Because this is causing the two of you so much stress and pain that it’s affecting your relationship, ask your physician to refer you to a licensed marriage and family therapist to help you both through this very unpleasant patch.

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Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.