DEAR ABBY: My son married a wonderful woman. Sadly, they are having great difficulty conceiving a baby. They have opted out of many conventional medical procedures because of their religious beliefs, for which I admire them.

While their struggles persist, another close family member has recently had a baby. My daughter-in-law has chosen not to see this family member or the baby because of the emotional pain of not being able to conceive herself. My son, who I know is torn, is supporting his wife. Our visits with them never include the new mom, dad and baby. My son has met the baby twice on the down-low without my DIL.

Our hearts are heavy. Our nuclear family has always been close, but this is putting a strain on the rest of us, although we empathize with my DIL’s emotional pain. What advice can you offer for this situation? — SADDENED IN THE EAST

DEAR SADDENED: Your daughter-in-law’s circle of friends (not to mention family) is going to shrink to nothing if she persists in hiding from anyone who has reproduced. Unless her religious beliefs discourage psychological counseling, she should absolutely reach out for some, and your son (who is already seeing the new baby on the down-low) should insist upon it.

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Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.