DEAR ABBY: My husband of 30 years died. We weren’t rich. I was 54 years old. We each had a will leaving all our assets to the other. We were self-employed, so there was no IRA or 401(k). I sold our only piece of property, and as a result, I have a small savings.

My daughters have now cut ties with me because I won’t give them money that I need to live on and will need for my future. I have been alienated from all the grandchildren as well. I feel terrible about it, but I’m scared about my future if I give my savings away. My daughters are all married and doing well financially. Is this normal? I gave them all of their father’s personal items after he passed. How can I feel better about all of this? — LOST THEM ALL AT ONCE

DEAR LOST THEM: Please accept my sympathy. Emotional blackmail is not “normal.” Neither is holding the grandkids for ransom, which is what your daughters are doing. I hope you realize they will continue to do this as long as they perceive you have a penny.

I predict you will start feeling better about all of this as soon as you are able to step back and fill your life with caring friends, who can fill, to some extent, the void your daughters are leaving in your life. You might also derive comfort and satisfaction by volunteering at an organization that benefits children. Please don’t wait to start.

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Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.