DEAR ABBY: I have been put in a difficult position between my daughter and her husband. My daughter, who has a genius IQ, double college majors, etc., hasn’t worked in a year and a half. Her husband of four years has tried to tell her it’s putting a strain on him, not only financially, but also in terms of health.

When he went to the hospital, his blood pressure was through the roof. He even had bloodshot eyes. He says he thinks she’s waiting for him to die so she can live off his investment earnings.

My daughter is very picky, and no job seems to be good enough for her. If I interfere, she’ll stop talking to me, and she’ll know he has talked to me, which will hurt their relationship as well. What can I do? I want her to be a productive person and not take everything for granted. — GRASPING AT STRAWS

DEAR GRASPING: The time has come for you to step back. You can’t control your adult daughter. Obviously, she and her husband do not communicate effectively. Because of the stress your son-in-law is under, his fear that she may be trying to pressure him into a coronary should be discussed with a marriage and family therapist.

He should be free to talk with anyone he wishes, including you, and possibly a lawyer, and if your daughter (the genius) can’t accept it, stop allowing her to make it your problem.

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Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.