DEAR ABBY: Recently, my current husband went on a fishing trip with my brother. My brother was drinking and confided to him that my ex-husband cheated on me. My brother was present when it happened. I was shocked, to say the least. I felt so betrayed by both. I can’t believe my brother would keep this secret from me, but my ex-husband has some dirt on my brother as well.

I sent my brother a text telling him how upset I am about his having kept that secret from me. Had I known the truth, it could have changed my life in so many ways. He wants to talk about it with me, but I’m not interested in doing that right now. I don’t know if I can get past this. Can you advise if I’m doing the right thing? — BETRAYED IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR BETRAYED: I understand why you are furious. And it might be better if you don’t discuss this with your brother until you have had a chance to cool down. While it’s logical that you might not be able to trust your brother again, I do think that at some point, you should hear him out. Once you have done that, you will be in a better position to decide whether you want to have a relationship.

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Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.